Kites and Memories

Taking every single piece of memory, my friend
I made them into thousand kites & let them all fly.

All along the way, the breeze filled with hues
Of scents that whisper hushed goodbyes.

Mist filled the ocean, and ships drift-away
Scattered heart made promises, running along window-panes.

Smiles captured in memories; a snow globe left in hands
A single rose apiece depicts the in-depth complexities we felt.

Pretentious wisdom comes knocking & we unlock the gates
Nonetheless, in our souls, we nurture,
the self along with the innocent childhood we shared.

Void

Your own loneliness was ultimately your own. The moment you forced others to deal with it, the relationship between the two parties would break down quickly, even if you didn’t intend to have a deep relationship.

Some people feel alone even in the center of the crowd. There is an emptiness inside them if they would only perceive and endure it to discover that they could own this place of nothingness and make something out of it. Nonetheless, they are afraid to confront it on their own. This place contains an abyss, a collection of memories, unshared thoughts and mixed feelings. Knowing yourself means entering the inner world and conquering it. If you understand yourself and accept, then it matters not if the other person does or not.

Parenthood

We make lot of mistakes in motherhood. It’s because we’re learning about a person who is new to this world and everything is different to them. I would say, contrary to other’s belief, that we all feel alone and in a sense we all are. We take one step at a time, and try different techniques day by day. We ourselves feel physically, and mentally drained many times but when we hear our children cry we sit up discovering the STRENGTH we thought we didn’t had.
We make terrible mistakes and try to tell ourselves that we were & are trying.  We realize how wrong we were in our childhood thinking how grownups should act. May be it was because we were so pure that we perceive that grownups’ mind must be as clear as our own. But now I have discovered that our hearts are carrying shattered glasses and we are still living and smiling for our kids. 

Growing up is realizing and telling ourselves to go on, don’t stop, only you can do it and only you must be the one doing it. And in every step we all take we don’t know there are several who are going through the same path as we are. Some are walking behind us while some are walking farther ahead, and some choose a different path than ours. We all are invisible to each other but visible only to Allah. He knows our hearts.
He wants to make us stronger and kindest, but the whole process is very hard, draining, and extremely difficult. It’s like the processing of diamond and we all human beings are quick to judge & lose faith. Nevertheless, we can try to capture beautiful moments in this struggles & find smiles of our children. When time passes we’ll become stronger and things will get better.

Silence & the Road

 

It’s about those moments when there is nothing but darkness. It’s when there is a silence that have entered the soul and everything else fades away, like it was never there, and there is only that silence and the road outward, to hold onto , and nothing else. It’s when you lose unexpectedly and see your empty hands. It is a walk every person have to make alone with decision at the end of the road.

Light’s not so dark so follow through
When heart seems to be in eternal blue

The fire that was inside in this silent night
Was all faded away with a broken disguise

The crystal castle broke again
Pieces scattered all over the place

Shoulders too heavy to take the blame
Wind rustles, took the pain away

Under this moonlight then with a sigh
I put my faith on the light

I would not give up , I said that night
I will mark my way leaving no chance behind

Now it’s difficult but will be all right
For the path will lead me to the quest I had to find.

The Only Girl On Which The Spell Worked

It was unusual. She wasn’t mean or jealous or, ever said anything bad about others. But the wrong thing happened when she looked in that large round-shaped beautiful mirror that hung in the room for so many years. No matter how hard she tried, she couldn’t look away.

It spoke to her & she started falling into its trap. It was a spell, a beautiful spell. In fascination, it held her standing, for ages and ages. Until one day, something happened that made her look away.

It was a ‘real’ world she was seeing now and after so many years she entered it, for the first time. She had expected the world to praise her, admire her, like she had done for so many years but the world around her had changed. Things looked different, everything seemed two-or-three-dimensional even some with sharp edges.

Confused. She ran away, disguising herself. No one noticed her & when someone did, it wasn’t quite in a manner she desired. It was a dark world. Tired she found herself sitting on a bench crying & thinking to herself, asking herself questions she had never imagined herself asking. Was she pretty ? Was everyone around telling the truth ? Was everything a delusion and lie ?

It was then when it started raining.

Startled she faced the sky, feeling the touch of small drops coming from the wishes of people. The whole time she was here she had heard people talk about it. Raindrops were falling on each petal of flowers that were grown there. Birds were watching the show hidden underneath the large branches of trees in their nests. A sweet smell started coming from the wet sand. Andalesia sat down wondering how can wet sand smell so sweet ? Rock and stones were placed near the green grass. She picked them up, they felt unexpectedly cold. It’s uneven shape, color, felt beautiful to her and she wondered why.

Rain has now started falling with a rapid speed. There were excitement-filled bright eyes of children who were playing in mud and all enjoying in their own special and simple way. Parents were holding hands of their children enjoying eating ice cream together. It was then when something happened. It is said that there is a moment which, when comes in a person’s life, touches them in such a way that they are not the same anymore. For her, the moment was that when she became what no one thought she would become, when she understood what no one thought she would understand. She was the girl on which the spell worked & she was the only girl who was able be break it. She remained a mystery to everyone. Afterwards many people told her that she was beautiful but mirrors have lost their attraction to her. It longer matters to her. She was found looking out from the roof of her house to the falling rain, smiling & her face beautiful, even when only a part of it could be seen from there.

SOMETIMES… I SIT AND WONDER

 

Sometimes I sit and wander.. through the deserts
and the cities ;
and deep, these thoughts goes,
in the ocean
then all at once
I am afloat.. !

Smiles

Sometimes I think of collecting smiles..

Sometimes I think I might find it under your pillow,
Or in the tea I made for you.
Sometimes I wonder If you find it
When I simply smile at you.

I find mine in your warm hugs,
When you say you love me too,
I find it in your light.
And at the doors of your heart.

~For my mother

Friend

Still I would search for my lost friend,
Sitting somewhere, waiting..
For me to turn.. my conscience

Won’t let it go..
Won’t let it go..

The most loyal friend of mine
Turning each smile, each moment alive
The essence of life.

Clouds & Wisdom

They are just thoughts, incomplete thoughts, about life and this strange transitory world, of transitory things including ourselves and our short stay. And in a sense they represents my life.

In childhood, I was searching for flowers
in the sweet-scented world.
When I grew, some clouds cleared
And I saw the morning star.

When old, I thought about the sand
I was made of ; and would end up with.
I had few good deeds, all else just faded away from me
Or maybe became part of me ?

MYSELF

On the edge
I found myself
In silent evenings
I found myself
When hands slipped away
I found myself

I find myself,
Same to the deepest core
I find my sorrows,
Mixed always with innocent hopes
I find myself
Always with strength to open the door.